Raptorix's Fanfics (princy_quide) wrote,
Raptorix's Fanfics

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[Bleach] Freeloader-san

Title: Freeloader-san
Author: Raptorix
Series: Bleach
Characters: Renji, Jinta
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Based on the filler jokes about how the Urahara Shoten crew tease Renji's freeloader ways.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Kubo Tite does.

Even though the Urahara Shoten group never ceased to tease Renji about his 'freeloading' during his short stay with them, they couldn't help but keep him useful around the store sometimes.

"Hey Freeloader-san!" Jinta drawled at the firey-red haired shinigami, "Yoruichi-san's cat box needs cleaning." The boy held out a plastic bag and a sifting scoop.

"What? Can't that woman just shit in the toilet?" Renji was taken aback. He was never very fond of cats, and cleaning up after them was the last thing he wanted to do for one.

"Oh Freeloader-san, we're so happy to provide a private room and bed just for you! Tessai-san even offered to share his room with you too! I heard he's the quietest sleeper too!" Jinta sneered, implying that even though they were apparently letting him sleep in his own guest room, they weren't obliged to let him stay there. Contrary to what Jinta said, Tessai had a terrible snoring problem, and required soundproof walls so the rest of Urahara Shoten could sleep.

Renji frowned dejectedly, and snatched the sifting scoop and plastic bag from the boy's hands, who snickered in reply. "Where the hell is her cat box?"

"Yoruichi-san has her own closet in the bathroom." Jinta had turned on his heel and started walking off to do other, less disgusting chores.

Renji grumbled and shuffled off to do Jinta's bidding. When he entered the cramped toilet space and pulled back the closet door, he was nearly floored with the overpowering smell emanating from that little box filled with sand.

"HOLY CRAP! What does that man FEED HER?! When was the last time this shit box cleaned?!" Renji hollered, trying to cover his nose from the offending odor of ammonia and feces.

"I've been putting off cleaning it for about a month now." Jinta sniggered as he poked his head through the open bathroom door. Then ran off cackling, hoping Renji wouldn't come after him to beat the boy with the dirty sifting scoop.

"Dear GOD! I'm never going to own a cat." Renji grumbled as he suffered through removing the sandy lumps of urine and feces from the box.
Tags: bleach, jinta, renji
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